Reading God's Word?

Confession time...I don't read my bible everyday...Maybe I should explain myself.  I was taught that you need to read it everyday and to memorize God's word.  I completely agree that the bible should be read daily for this is how we learn the teachings of Christ.  Where my struggle was memorizing the scripture. The leaders of my church would always ask me, "how is your walk with God, how is your daily bible reading, how are you doing in getting into the word and memorizing it"?  I would give the cookie cutter answer...My walk with God is great, I know he loves me, I really try to read my bible every day, I am struggling with memorizing His word.  Then I would receive the look, you know the one.  The one that says you are not trying hard enough.  The look that stated if you really loved the Lord like you say you do, you would obey His commandments by getting deeply into His word.  Getting His word so embedded into your heart that when you are asked for a scripture it came readily to my tongue.  Then would come the "loving" counsel on what I could do better.  How I could manage my time better, how I could focus more on Him than earthly things. We would set up an appointment to revisit this issue to see if I was able to resolve my struggle in any way.  I would nod in agreement thank them more loving me enough to help me through this.  I would then walk away feeling like a failure, because I was not holy enough to embed Christ's word in my heart.  I would cry out to God and ask Him what is wrong with me that I can't do a simple thing like memorize His word.  I knew the stories of the bible, I knew what God wanted from me, and yet I felt like I was failing Him.  A small part of me knew that this type on condemnation was not from Him, but from man.  Another thing that would happen if I went to a leader for counsel  the scripture was used to condom me.  Meaning it was used in such a way that I always felt like missing the mark.  The thing is I trusted this leadership to guide me with a Christ love and to help me with life in a Godly biblical counsel. One day I was speaking to a good friend telling him a little about my struggle.  His reply really opened up my eyes.  Yes, you need to get into God's word daily, don't beat yourself up if you miss a day or two.  Isn't better to know the teachings of Christ and to really know them? The bible is His words to life and as long as we read it and learn from it then everything is okay.  As far as memorizing scripture, yes it is nice to have a couple go to verses.  Don't panic if you tell someone a story in the bible and you can't remember the scripture reference. Remember God's word does not return void and as long as you a planting a seed to bear fruit then you are on the right track.  In addition, scripture is not meant to used as a control tool.  It is a guide to help you with every life situation that you are going through.  With all this being said I can now pick up my bible and read it the way it is meant to be read.  The amazing thing about this process is I am learning to fall in love with His word and I am starting to find that excitement on what He has for me today.  So if you are having this same trouble, relax take a deep breath and give it to God.  This is just my 2cents,