Meet Kelly

Hi, I’m Kelly.

What shall I tell you about me? A little background perhaps.

I’m the oldest of 6 kids. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. If you count all the step sibs I've had, I’m the oldest of 16.

But that’s not really what I need to tell you. I need to tell how God works in my life.

I’m the daughter of an alcoholic. My dad left when I was 11. That’s also when I left God.

I could take the abuse, the isolation and being molested by a friend’s brother but I didn't have the skills to deal with my family breaking up. I blamed God and hated him for taking away my only security. I turned my back on Him and began a deep descent into darkness. The first time I tried to slit my wrist I was 13. My teen years were filled with hate, frustration, depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, drugs, sex and witchcraft. I felt useless and unwanted and ugly. My first overdose was at 14 in school. I saw myself sitting at my desk and knew I had to get back to myself before the bell rang.

When I was 18 I married a man who became the father of my two sons. I miscarried two other children as well. My marriage was filled with drug abuse, emotional abuse and deception. I began using methamphetamine after my youngest child was born.

In 1999, I finally got away from that marriage. I was on my own, on the street. When I slept, which was rare, I slept in my car or on someone’s couch. I would stay up for weeks at a time. I began hallucinating and was deep in witchcraft. I had several overdoses during this year.

In November of that year, I turned 28. I woke up on my birthday being choked by a woman. That was the beginning of the end for me. I began shooting up meth that day and doing opium as well. For the next month, I just wanted to die. I hated this life I was existing in and couldn’t see a way out.

On the night of December 9, 1999 I cried out to God to kill me or get me out of this because I couldn't take anymore. Revelation 21:4 kept me alive. “And God shall wipe away all their tears and there shall be no more pain, nor death, nor dying, for the former things are washed away.”

I was arrested the next day. And I never touched meth or opium again.

I went to jail, where I began a relationship with my father again. He helped me into treatment and eventually to find Narcotics Anonymous. There, I was able to get clean from all drugs and alcohol. Not right away, it took me 9 months before I came to the point that I couldn't do it and that God had to do it for me. So, once again, I cried out to Him to help me. I told Him that if I was going to get clean, He had to do it. I knew I wasn't able to. That was in September of 2000. I've not used a drug or drank since.

I wrote a letter to God one day, talking to him about all the qualities I wanted in a husband.

I met Charlie 3 weeks later. We've been inseparable since.

He helped me get my kids back from their grandparents where they’d been living for 3 years. He married me. He helped me go to college and get a degree. Charlie has always been my encourager and support. He’s been there for me when I didn't think I could get through something to tell me that I can and that God is with me. We've been through prophetic assembly together and God says that

we are going to do things together. I’m not alone. It’s taken me a very long time to realize that I’m not alone. I thought I was. God is with me and has given me someone to share this journey of life with.

God has never left me. He has promised that he would always be with me and that I will see Him return for me one day. Even in my darkest moments, even when I walked away, His love for me carried me through. Though there have been many times when I should have died, God has not let that happen. Most recently, I almost drowned in the Payette River 4 years ago. We took an inflatable kayak down when we didn't have training and I couldn't balance. We went right into the hole at the rapid and the kayak went vertical. Charlie got sucked off the end and I flipped over. I was fighting to get to the shore, but unable to before the eddy stopped and the current picked up and took me around the corner. I was praying the whole time, but terror, like I've not experienced since, gripped me. I was shouting at the devil and praying to God, but I didn't trust Him in the middle of it. I was afraid He wasn't there. When I finally gave up and admitted that I didn't have anything left, He showed up and swept me to the edge. I got out shaking to the core. When Charlie finally came down river to get me, I was all done. I gave up. I've realized now, that I gave up on almost everything at that time. I gave up hope and the will to fight. It’s been 4 years, but now I’m starting to see that there is nothing that happens in my life that is apart from Him. His hand is in all things. Anything good that I do will be by His strength and not mine. I just have to keep fighting. So, I will fight.

I fight against depression, I fight against food addiction, I fight against apathy, I fight against hopelessness, I fight against insanity, I fight against the lies that try to make me give up. I fight because my name means “warrior.” That’s who He made me to be.

He has not failed me or let my enemy take me from Him. He is my Security, my Strength and my Hope.