Monday, August 26, 2013

The Making of Walking with Him

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

     When God puts something on my heart I usually act upon it.  Last January the vision He gave me was to start writing a blog with the sole purpose of reaching out to others. To write of things that was to come from my personal testimony and the testimonies of others. To bring a word of encouragement, a word of reflection, and a word to the person reading the post was that they are not alone.  As the vision became clearer so did the excitement to make it happen.  Of course there was the thoughts of doubt, confusion and fear, but the God I serve is a great God.  For He does not give us a plan unless He fully intends to help us with it.  I also knew that I was not called to walk this journey alone, so I asked Jennifer if she would join me. She was very excited to embark on this journey, as we sat down to make it a reality, and came up with the name, "Walking with Him".  
  For  Jennifer and I, this has been an amazing year of growth for both of us. As we got to know each other better, our families became blended so much so that our kids have become like brothers and sisters.  We became each others support system, cheerleaders, and certainly each others accountability.  Our hearts beat for God and all that he has for us.We strive for all things that we do or write to bring Glory to Him. ~Missie 

     When I was asked to apart of this blog, I was excited and honored to be apart of something bigger than myself. It's part of the word that the Lord spoke over me that I am to be apart of the emergency, Holy Spirit team, bringing in the broken and hard to reach. I felt peace that this was a step in that direction. Its also been spoken that I will speak my testimony to women and again this confirmed that word from the Lord. Though it didn't come without hesitation and recognizing the commitment it would take and respect for the counsel given in the things I would write as the word says in James 3:1 Not many of you should be teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. So because of the seriousness of warning in this verse, every post is carefully read and checked to be in alignment with the word of God. It has been a growing an stretching season as we have shared our personal experiences and life stories with you, and I am looking forward to this next season. ~Jennifer 

      Jennifer and I are taking the week off to get things ready for the next season of Walking with Him blog.  We have some very exciting things planned for the next couple of months.  First up is a Back-to-School series.  Then some personal messages that God has been putting on both of hearts.  We have some amazing guest bloggers lined up.  In addition, we our doing the Hot Chocolate run in December. Ending the year with a reflection of this past year, then going into the New Year with fresh goals and visions!  We are very thankful for our readers, friends, and family who has given us great encouragement to make this blog the successful blog that it is.  Blessings to you and yours, see you next week as we kick off our Back-to-School series.    

Monday, August 19, 2013

Where is Mine...

      A couple sit in church watching the baby dedication.  The  husband reaches over and gently but firmly grasp his wife hand.  With the other hand he reaches up tenderly wipes the silent tears that are flowing down her face.  She looks at him and smiles, mouths  I am okay.  He nods and wipes tears of his own, for he feels her pain of a barren womb, trying not to ask God where is my child I long to hold  This quiet exchange goes unnoticed by others around them, but there is One who watches them, He feels their pain.  The maker of the stars has a plan for them and He will not forget them.  He grieves with them, shares their ups and downs, their hope of  having children of their own.  He also brings them faith that He is in control and rejoices when they fix their eyes on Him.  Knowing that even if they are not blessed with children of their own, He will honor and reward them in others ways.  The verse that this young couple clings to comes from Proverbs 3:5, Trust in the Lord; do not depend on your own understanding. They trust Him completely and lean on Him on those nights when they think they can no longer go on...

     A dad comes with a handful of mail, his shoulders slump as he looks through the mail.  His wife comes around from the kitchen with a question in her eyes, not wanting to ask the question out loud, but it is on her lips ready to be asked.  Then she notices the slump of his shoulders, the lowering of his head as he looks at the last piece of mail.  He looks up, put on a brave smile and says, "not today".  She nods her head and goes back to the kitchen to finish fixing lunch.  The dad has been out of work for over 2 years and he was hoping to find his finally approved unemployment check.  He fixes his eyes on the ceiling and silently cries out to God, Where is my job? I am trying to trust you Lord, I am trying to have faith that you will provide all of my families needs.  Then immediately he repents as he remembers a promise from God, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life"? Matthew 6:25-34  He sets the mail on the table and then he feels a prompting from the Holy Spirit, to pick up the mail and look again...He pauses picks up the mail and tucked in between a cell phone advertisement and a hospital bill is the check from unemployment.  With a prayer of thanks he runs into the kitchen picks up his wife swings her around and says God is faithful to provide to those who trust in him...

   A single mom kisses her treasures good bye, gives them final instruction on what they are to have for dinner then she heads out the door to work.  She races down the steps, stops and looks around her yard and sees the neglect.  Hangs her head in shame and then looks up and cries out to God, Where is my husband? am I not worthy enough to have someone to share the responsibilities of life with? Where have I gone wrong that I am left to raise my children alone?  What do I need to change so that I might enjoy the fruits of marriage?  My kids need two parents, not one that is at times  barely hanging on. Lord I am trying to be faithful to trust, I know that you have a plan for me and my family.  She then remembers Matthew 6:33, But seek first his kingdom and all his righteousness, and all things will be given to you as well.  She realizes she was having a good old fashion pity party, turns goes back into the house give her kids another kiss good bye and this time when she goes down the steps it was with a smile in her heart and on her face...

   The wife looks down on her sleeping husband and breathes a prayer of relief when she sees the rise and fall of his chest.  Tomorrow will be his 30th birthday and only a few family and friends will be there to celebrate it.  Just this time last year they were planning a huge family camp/cook out when they got the got the call from the doctor telling them they needed to come in and speak with him.  Getting the news that he had a brain tumor that was inoperable. That they needed to get his affairs in order he had 6-months to a year to live.   As they drove home they prayed for healing, they called their church and asked for a prayer chain to be started.  When they did not see the healing that they so desperately prayed for they tried to not ask God where is his healing.  They clung to the promise that God is a healing God.  A God that can moves mountains in the blink of an eye. Months went by and the anniversary of finding out the devastating news was fast approaching. The wife tried not to live in fear of losing the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.  Fighting emotions of anger at God, emotions of feeling rejected by God, then feeling suddenly ashamed for not trusting Him she turned to Him in prayer.  The Lord gently whispered this in her ear, So do not fear, I am with you; do not be dismayed on am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10   Wiping the tears from her eyes she thanked God for the time she has with her husband and remembered to count things with all joy.  She also had a sudden confirmation that God was indeed a healing God and not to lose faith...

       Whether you have dreams of having children, trying not to be fearful of not having a job, wondering if you will always be a single parent, or clinging to the hopes of healing.  Just know that when you fix your eyes upon God and let him take control.  Life becomes more bearable also, your testimony is someone else's push to get through a very tough situation.  It is okay to call out to God and ask where is mine.  This is not a lack of faith it is being humble, honest and transparent with the One who created you.  Listen to what He says to you and if you don't hear anything right away don't lose hope.  He is waiting for you to be still and turn everything over to Him.  He loves you that  much and wants to take care of you.  My prayer for you today is that you do just that let Him take control and wait for His response.



Monday, August 12, 2013

"Why me?"

     Ever wonder....WHY ME!?!?!? Why was I chosen for this life? Why is this my story, my successes, and my sorrows ? For years I thought it was wrong to ask. That by doing so I was doubting God, and not trusting His plan for my life. So I kept my questions of why me a secret. People would say "Hello" and it almost always would lead to a "How are you?" I would smile and say, "Good"! But if they scratched the surface of that smile (even a couple layers deep) I would inevitable cry my current circumstance being careful to never ask why me? Throughout the years, I had several opportunities that I wanted too...Why did I not know my Dad as a child, why did he not fight to know me? Why did I grow up moving every single year never having roots or any real friends, and shut out all memory of anything prior to turning age 11? Why did I try to find love and acceptance in boys who always left me feeling ashamed? Why did I have my sweet baby so young (just 2 weeks after turning age 18)? Why did I love someone who would spend 7+ years in prison, and If it was truly love, then why would we hurt each other in every possible way? Why was I surrounded by alcoholics and drug addicts? Why am I now raising four children as a single mother?


     It was a breath of fresh air when I read the story in John 9 where Jesus' own disciples asked this question in verse 2: Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he should be born blind? and then the answer in verse 3: Jesus answered, it was not that this man or his parents sinned, but he was born blind in order that the workings of God should be manifested (displayed and illustrated) in him.  

     It all made sense to me! I was chosen for such a time as this! In every circumstance, in every situation, God knew every outcome before it happened! He would be glorified in every scenario. And the best part, His works would be glorified in me! 

Isaiah 61:3 To grant to those who mourn in Zion, to give them an ornament of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit. That they may be called oaks of righteousness the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

     After all this, I learned that its completely natural and human to ask questions of why me. Because we are not naturally kingdom minded,  usually our first instinct is to doubt, ask did I hear you right, hide, and not expose the corners of our heart. But God requires access to those corners so He can reveal His purpose in every area and be glorified through our obedience.  So, ask! Seek counsel, and wait for God's response and his timing.




Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Meet Kelly

Hi, I’m Kelly.
What shall I tell you about me? A little background perhaps.
I’m the oldest of 6 kids. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. If you count all the step sibs I've had, I’m the oldest of 16.
But that’s not really what I need to tell you. I need to tell how God works in my life.
I’m the daughter of an alcoholic. My dad left when I was 11. That’s also when I left God.
I could take the abuse, the isolation and being molested by a friend’s brother but I didn't have the skills to deal with my family breaking up. I blamed God and hated him for taking away my only security. I turned my back on Him and began a deep descent into darkness. The first time I tried to slit my wrist I was 13. My teen years were filled with hate, frustration, depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, drugs, sex and witchcraft. I felt useless and unwanted and ugly. My first overdose was at 14 in school. I saw myself sitting at my desk and knew I had to get back to myself before the bell rang.
When I was 18 I married a man who became the father of my two sons. I miscarried two other children as well. My marriage was filled with drug abuse, emotional abuse and deception. I began using methamphetamine after my youngest child was born.
In 1999, I finally got away from that marriage. I was on my own, on the street. When I slept, which was rare, I slept in my car or on someone’s couch. I would stay up for weeks at a time. I began hallucinating and was deep in witchcraft. I had several overdoses during this year.
In November of that year, I turned 28. I woke up on my birthday being choked by a woman. That was the beginning of the end for me. I began shooting up meth that day and doing opium as well. For the next month, I just wanted to die. I hated this life I was existing in and couldn’t see a way out.
On the night of December 9, 1999 I cried out to God to kill me or get me out of this because I couldn't take anymore. Revelation 21:4 kept me alive. “And God shall wipe away all their tears and there shall be no more pain, nor death, nor dying, for the former things are washed away.”
I was arrested the next day. And I never touched meth or opium again.
I went to jail, where I began a relationship with my father again. He helped me into treatment and eventually to find Narcotics Anonymous. There, I was able to get clean from all drugs and alcohol. Not right away, it took me 9 months before I came to the point that I couldn't do it and that God had to do it for me. So, once again, I cried out to Him to help me. I told Him that if I was going to get clean, He had to do it. I knew I wasn't able to. That was in September of 2000. I've not used a drug or drank since.
I wrote a letter to God one day, talking to him about all the qualities I wanted in a husband.
I met Charlie 3 weeks later. We've been inseparable since.
He helped me get my kids back from their grandparents where they’d been living for 3 years. He married me. He helped me go to college and get a degree. Charlie has always been my encourager and support. He’s been there for me when I didn't think I could get through something to tell me that I can and that God is with me. We've been through prophetic assembly together and God says that

we are going to do things together. I’m not alone. It’s taken me a very long time to realize that I’m not alone. I thought I was. God is with me and has given me someone to share this journey of life with.
God has never left me. He has promised that he would always be with me and that I will see Him return for me one day. Even in my darkest moments, even when I walked away, His love for me carried me through. Though there have been many times when I should have died, God has not let that happen. Most recently, I almost drowned in the Payette River 4 years ago. We took an inflatable kayak down when we didn't have training and I couldn't balance. We went right into the hole at the rapid and the kayak went vertical. Charlie got sucked off the end and I flipped over. I was fighting to get to the shore, but unable to before the eddy stopped and the current picked up and took me around the corner. I was praying the whole time, but terror, like I've not experienced since, gripped me. I was shouting at the devil and praying to God, but I didn't trust Him in the middle of it. I was afraid He wasn't there. When I finally gave up and admitted that I didn't have anything left, He showed up and swept me to the edge. I got out shaking to the core. When Charlie finally came down river to get me, I was all done. I gave up. I've realized now, that I gave up on almost everything at that time. I gave up hope and the will to fight. It’s been 4 years, but now I’m starting to see that there is nothing that happens in my life that is apart from Him. His hand is in all things. Anything good that I do will be by His strength and not mine. I just have to keep fighting. So, I will fight.
I fight against depression, I fight against food addiction, I fight against apathy, I fight against hopelessness, I fight against insanity, I fight against the lies that try to make me give up. I fight because my name means “warrior.” That’s who He made me to be.
He has not failed me or let my enemy take me from Him. He is my Security, my Strength and my Hope.