Monday, September 22, 2014

Forgiveness = Grace?

The other day I had a good friend do something to me that shook to me the core.  I was in a state of shock when I found out what my friend had done...What? You thought that would be okay to do? On what level of crazy selfishness were you coming from?  Then as I was in the middle of my self-righteous rant, I realized I should do the right thing and give it to God.  I went into prayer and prayed for her, our relationship and our friendship.  I felt a peace come over me as the Lord said, "give her grace".  I was like sure I can do I thought.  I realized that yes I could extend grace, but yet I was confused and could not get past the hurt.  I called a friend of mine and she asked me what my idea of forgiveness looked like.  I told her it meant to provide grace.  Her next challenge to me was in asking what did grace look like to me.  I gave the standard answer, to give undeserved favor, because that is what was given to me.  True was the response given, but think about this: One you can forgive and extend grace, but you have a choice on whether you want to move forward or not with a person or a situation.  This gave me pause, I mean I can forgive and let go at the same time? I always thought if happened then I would come across as offended.  Not be the type of person who wants to work things out. When in fact it gave me a chance to take inventory of my relationships.  Is this friendship a healthy friendship, or is it a one sided one?  Then I pointed the finger back at myself and asked, am I being a good friend?  Am I being the type of friend that you can count on in a pinch, that you can laugh till your sides hurt.  Am I being that friend that is true, honest, and shows integrity? It was a very rewarding thing to do, to look at all the areas of my life.  Then at the same time I gave my friendship to God asking Him to help me out in this process.  You may be asking what was the end results of all this soul searching? Well, I forgave and moved on.  It was a hard thing to do, but let's be honest if a friendship is not healthy then one needs to let it go.  I am not saying to be rude or act in such a manner it causes hurt.  There are such things as common courtesy  and manners.  One more word of advice that I have found very helpful, don't let your emotions rule you! Nothing is accomplished by this. If you find yourself in a situation where you are hurt, confused or angry give it to God and let Him take over.  He has your best interest in mind and won't give you anything you can't handle. Just my 2cents, Missie