If I hear the phrase, "maybe you are meant to be single" one more time...I am going to scream!! When I felt in my heart of hearts that God had someone special for me. I knew I was not to spend the rest of my life single. What I had to realize is that I could not let my desire to be married become an obsession. I had to learn to let go and give it to God. I had to let my wants and desires become His not mine. I have to be honest with you I went around that mountain more than once. I even planted some flowers and built a park bench on that dreadful mountain. I can laugh at it now, but just a couple of years ago I probably would be crying instead. Calling out to God asking what is wrong with me. Then it hit me one day maybe I am not ready to be someones helpmate. With this thought process starting to form, I then turned my what is wrong with me plea into to make me worthy. Better yet help me become worthy of being someones wife. I slowly opened my tightly closed hand, opened it palm side up, and said God I give this to you. Wow!! Such freeeeeeddddommmm!! Such freedom I felt when I finally let go. I found God on a different level I had never have had before. Yes, I had my relapses and I would find myself starting to climb the mountain again. The difference this time was with God's help I could see what I was doing and stop climbing.
Then God did something amazing for me!! He introduce me to a man who taught me how to love the way He intends us to love. A man who puts God first and is willing to help me in my relationship with the One who created me. A man who builds me up and tells me daily how beautiful I am. For the first time in my life I am starting to believe that I am beautiful. My friend Jennifer has a saying, a woman blossoms like a flower when a man loves her. The thing I would like to add to is when a couple puts God first they both blossom. With God at the center of the relationship it has a fighting chance. I am not saying that the relationship is going to be all rosy and nothing goes wrong. In fact, there will be times when it will get down right difficult. In the moments of trial is the time to be open and honest...even if it hurts. To not let pride get in the way of making things right.
I thank God daily for Ray. He has put him in my life only to better it. I for once feel a completeness that I have not ever felt before. This is not meant to take away from my relationship I have with God, only in a has deepened it. I ask God daily to guide me into becoming the wife He has called me to be, and I pray daily that we remember to put God first in our relationship. My prayer for you is what ever is keeping you from realizing what God has for you. You open your hand palm side up and let go. If you are not sure what is holding you back, meet God in a quiet place and ask Him. He will tell you in a gentle loving way. Just remember that doubt and condemnation is not what God has for us, so if you are feeling this ask God to help you. He will for He loves you with a never ending love and He only wants the best for you..What I hope you take away from this is: There is freedom in Christ, let go, and let God bless your hearts desires the way He wants to. Just my 2cents, Missie
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