Thursday, May 16, 2013's okay

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present 

you before his glorious presence without fault and with great

 joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and

 authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, 

now and forevermore! Amen.  Jude 1:24-25

     The Lord is faithful in all that he does, through the good times and the bad times He is always there for us.  The season that He has me in is both wonderful and hard at the same time.  I am currently going to school to get a degree in Nursing.  I am just at the beginning stages.  Getting the pre-requisite classes out of the way so I can apply to Nursing school.  Every class that I take now is critical in getting this accomplished.  I just finished year two second semester, I knew going into it, that it would be hard.  In fact I would send out text messages weekly asking for prayer.  My two toughest classes were Biology 227 (Anatomy and Physiology), and Math 108.  Right off the bat these two classes were a struggle for me, but I had the drive to keep pressing in.  About halfway into the semester you have the opportunity to drop them so as not to receive a failing grade.  After much prayer, I committed to stay in the classes.  
     I didn't want to be considered a failure by dropping both of them or even one of them.  This could be looked at as a pride thing...the verdict is still out on this.  I really just wanted to put my faith and trust in the Lord that he will pull me through.  What I needed to remember is that I in turn needed to do my part.  Meaning to be more diligent in my time management, be more focused on what is important and what is not.  As the semester progressed and my grades where slowly falling I let the enemy come in and steal my confidence in myself.  I started stressing about every little thing and was not at peace. 

  Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.  Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.  Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.  1 Peter 5:8-9

     It became so bad that I was feeling like a friends and family would tell me that they were so proud of me and what I was doing.  They were proud of my hard work in going to school, but what they didn't realize was that every time I heard those words I would cringe inside!  I felt like I was failing everyone because I had two classes that I was barely passing.  I would respond with something like, "Thanks, but this semester has been a really hard one... I knew it would be going in, just keep me in your prayers".  I was afraid if I told them what really was happening I would have to see the looks of disappointment on their face.  In a sense, what I was not doing was trusting the Lord to help me.  I told myself I was letting the Lord be in control when actually I was really trying to do it in my own strength.  Then one morning, as I was getting ready for school it hit me... I had let the enemy come in like the roaring lion and devour me.  Then I got mad and in Jesus's name I began claiming the ground I had let Satan take from me.  A great peace settled upon my soul and I started reaching out to friends I went to school with and asking them to study with me.  I was past the point of receiving a high enough grade to move to the next level for these two classes, but I wasn't going down without a fight!  During this process, I had to eat a lot of humble pie so to speak and swallow my pride to let the Lord take over.

 Well, the semester is now over and I am signed up to retake Biology and Math in the fall semester.  My thoughts and feelings on this are in a positive direction.  The Lord is faithful to have us walk through these journeys, they help us gain strength and wisdom.  I learned a lot about my self this past year.  It is okay to reach out and ask for help, it is okay to be transparent and it is okay to fail.  I really don't look at as failing just a way to move forward as long as I have the Lord with me. ~Missie

 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you that hope in the LORD.Psalm 31:34

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