Is there potential damage in holding everything to yourself? Keeping everything and everyone that you hold so near and dear to your heart has the potential to cause significant damage by not truly trusting that God is ultimately always in control. He is never surprised, and things are coordinated by divine appointment and never left to chance. So, why then did I insist on leaving the door open to doing things in my own strength, in my own timing, and with very limiting outcome? I have been guilty of holding my heart to myself and not fully trusting that He is the only one who can heal my brokenness and restore me to wholeness. I have known that His plans for me are for my good. Even still, head knowledge is a loooooooooong way from heart knowledge, and letting go means trusting the result, whatever it may be and believing that it is for my benefit.
Isaiah 55:8“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
There's a line in the movie "Facing the Giants" when Brooke learns her pregnancy test was negative...again. After four years of a bare womb she chooses to abandon all her hopes and dreams and declares "I will still love you Lord". It brings me to tears every time. That even though her biggest dream to become a mother may never come to pass, she chooses to let go and let God decide her future. Immediately after she "let's go" the nurse runs out and explains that there was a mix-up in the tests and that she was in fact pregnant! Psalm 63:8 My heart clings to You, and You uphold me with your right hand.
Could there be benefits of letting go of everything that I have labored so hard to protect? Does God have something better for me and my children than the safety I've clung too? To truly let go means that I also choose to trust Him and believe The Word when it says that He will direct my steps. Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but The Lord determines his steps.
So recently when the time came to trust another with my heart, I've made a daily choice to let go of all reservation and not hold back out of fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of disappointment, fear of the future. We are not promised tomorrow and I wasted way too much time living in the "what if's" and the "should of, could of, would of". We have been given the gift of a second chance. My life has been completely interrupted. Love changes everything in your day to day routine. I choose to love with abandon, completely and wholly without hesitation trusting that The Lord knows exactly what He's doing. I choose to let go of all my thoughts and plans and allow my steps to be directed. I choose to cling to the The Lord and let go of that cliff that I've been holding onto for all these years. I choose to trust the future that He decides with His strength, His timing, and His limitless outcome.