I introduced myself ahead of time to show you that I'm a normal person... but since I was 16, I've struggled with the disorder called trichotillomania (the disorder of pulling out your hair). See, I didn't want to just come right out and say that, because you might either click the little "x" in the upper corner or you might immediately think I was crazy. To be honest, in the beginning—I thought I was crazy too.
I began pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows when I was in high school. It was my way of dealing with stress and change, and I found that out after several counseling sessions, lots of medication, hypnosis, acupuncture, and every other "treatment" in the books—you name it, I tried it. At one point, I had absolutely no eyelashes or eyebrows. It was during that time that I was cheerleading for Boise State University, and I was always in the spotlight. I had very low self-esteem and was always asking "why me?" It was a constant struggle.
It was about four years later in March of 2012 that I found myself sitting in Harvest Church, tears streaming down my face, and I made the choice to be saved and ask Jesus into my life. Finally, for the first time in my life, I began to pray. I prayed for so many things... but I also prayed about my trich. I prayed for healing, for peace, and for God to use me and my disorder to help others. Let me tell you what—God answered.
For the past several years, I've also written a blog called LastLash. On it, I've documented my journey and struggles with trich, detailing the ups and downs. It wasn't until I was saved that my voice about my pulling changed. In fact, it wasn't until I was saved that I began not having the desire to pull as often or as much... it just wasn't as much of a big deal for me anymore. And that wasn't anything that I could have done on my own. I did it with God's help through prayer.
Gone are the days when I used to say "why me?" Now, I know that God gave me trich to use it to help others. Not only am I helping to inspire others to stop pulling, but I'm doing it through Him and through His word. I can't credit any kind of drug or counseling session with my new-found strength and freedom from the binding power of trich... I credit it all to God. Now, I haven't been cured completely from trich, but prayer has helped me lessen the frequency of my pulling and the overwhelming urges to pull. God has given me verses to look to (Mark 5:34) when I'm having trouble, and the ability to talk to Him when I need a moment of strength.
The point of all of this isn't about trich. You see that, right? The point is that if you're struggling with something, He is the answer. God can help lessen your burden and take that weight from your shoulders. He can be your shield and your power and your saving grace. With Him, anything is possible.
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