How about I back up a few steps and explain myself. It was an amazing time of worship at church. You could feel the presence of the Lord. It was so refreshing like a cool glass of water on a sun parched day. During the service a prayer was given, and we told to go before the Lord and ask Him to help us with anything that was keeping us from Him. I laid some things down at the Cross and instantly He whispered in my soul that He was going to fight the battle for me. I needed to relax and trust. I felt a sense of peace come over me, one that I had not felt in a long time. Like a warm gentle hug from your favorite person. In grasped on the promise He gave for me and held it close to my heart. I claimed the promise that God's word never returns void, and was reminded to put my trust in Him. With every promise that God gives you the enemy is on the prowl to cancel. To remind you that you are stupid and not worth anything. Well, my friend these are lies and don't you dare believe them. With all this being said I have been in a battle that I can't seem to overcome. For every step forward I take I feel like that I am punched backwards a few hundred feet. I have even spent time with the Lord crying out!! God!! You said to me, You promised me...Yes I have even uttered these words...WhY hAvE YOU left me???? The answer is He has not. Did you noticed that I used the words I Have Been In a Battle...What I have done is taken God out of the battle and tried to fight it in my own strength. He has not left me, I left Him. I did not hold the promise He gave me about fighting my own battle as close as I thought I did.
Now as I try to grasp onto Him with all that I have, I take a moment and ponder what it means to listen to Him. I imagine Him reaching down from the Heavens to me trying to wipe away my tears. Waiting for me to let go and let Him take charge. He gave me a promise and yearns to fulfill it. I just need to take myself out of being in charge, and let Him be in control. My friend it is no easy task to do. I must admit I don't like it when I am not in control. Even worse if I can't fix the problem my whole world spins out of control. This is a feeling that I don't like at all. Not on any level. If you are like me in situations like these. Take a deep breath, grab a cup of coffee, and go find a quiet place where you can talk to the Lord. Ask Him to show how to listen to Him. Ask Him to have patience, because you are a work in progress. Ask Him to help you trust in Him and what He has to offer you. If you have trouble finding that quiet time put on some worship music, sit quietly, and sing to Him. He is willing and waiting for you to come to Him. Remember He does not leave us, we leave Him. In the process we end up trying to do things in our strength. Our Father has big strong shoulders for us to lean on and take refugee. Try it you will find what you are looking for. Just my 2cents, Missie
