A.N.G.E.R.R.R...

 

That moment when you get so angry you feel as if you are turning in to a green monster.  The outcome is not pleasant.  You feel a tornado of emotions running through you.  I get that...I have been there.  When I get this angry all I see is black...literally all I physically see is black. My voice drops down about 3 octaves and my eyebrows form a straight line, kinda of like a uni brow.  It is rare I get to this point, but when I do I have to put myself in time out.  I am a slow burner type of girl which is good, If you want to call any form of anger good. Is anger good one may ask.  Well yes and no.  What the bible says about anger that it is not a sin unless it is self motivated by pride.  It is a natural God given emotion.  An emotion when it is used correctly. For example, when  one is angry at the cause of injustice towards another, and is conveyed in a way to help the other it is not a sin.  Anger becomes a sin when it is allowed to boil over without restraint, resulting in a scenario in which hurt is multiplied.  Proverbs 29:11 states that a fool vents his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.  As a side note: this verse does not mean hold all your anger in, but just be wise how you vent it.  If this type of emotion is left unchecked or unresolved then when it is unleashed it can be damaging.  The damage is to the one receiving it, or emotionally damaging to the one holding it all in.  If you get that point of no return the best thing you can do is drop down on your knees and ask God to take over.  

Recently I was in a situation where I felt an injustice was being done to me.  At first I was hurt and when the situation was not being resolved in the way "I" thought it should be.  The hurt turned to anger...As the wrongdoing started to settle into my soul, the peace I usually felt was turning into turmoil.  I wanted to scream out loud, UNFAIR!!  This feeling lasted for about a day or two.  Then in a moment of clarity I realized that I was not giving it to God. I finally went to Him in prayer and asked Him to take the anger away.  In the same moment He helped me examine myself to take ownership of my part of the situation.  I must be honest I still don't like the results of what happened, but I now have peace.  In addition, it is very humbling when you have to admit to yourself that you are wrong.  Not always a good feeling, but if you handle it right it can a lesson that ends well.  What I found is from time to time if I ask God to reveal to me what needs adjusting.  Even though I know there might be some discomfort involved, it always ends well.  Just my 2cents, Missie.

  

Friendship and how Important it Is!

     I heard someone on the radio the other day talking about friendship.  The point the speaker was making no matter how busy you are in life, always remember to keep in touch with your friends.  Just as a plant needs to be nurtured, so does a friendship.  If you give a plant lack of water and food it dies.  If you don't sow into a friendship it dies.  Relationships are a two way street.  Both parties need to realize that even though life gets busy, the friendship they share is just as important.  One might find themselves in situation where a friend is needed. If they have not maintained their friendship, then in their time of need they might not have anyone there to help them.  In addition, once you find a true friend who is willing to stick with you through the thick and thin.  You need to be thankful for this person.  In a sense this person in some point of their life will put your needs above their's, and you will probably be willing to do the same.

     On a personal note:  I started to have a busy season in my life, I had met my future husband. While developing a foundation for our relationship, and maintaining my friendship proved to be a challenge. I look back now and realize that I was not doing a very good job of it.  I probably let some of my friends down, no more like I know I let some of my friends down.  When I realized what was happening it was to late for one of them.  Let me tell you the loss of a friend, is kin to loss of a family member.  The grief is the same and hard to get through.  I now pray for this person daily and hope the damaged can be repaired.  I hate that feeling that I have let someone down. To me that is a huge deal, I want to be the why can't everyone get along type person.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but now my outlook on friendship is different and reflects in a new light. A lesson in life I hope not to ever forget.

       Now I try to be the friend God has called me to be, to love as He loves, and to trust as He trust.  I try to return phone calls, texts messages,or any type of communication that I receive.  As I mentioned earlier it was a hard lesson to learn, and not one that I want to learn again.  Also, in the process I am learning what type of friends to keep close. Meaning that not everyone of my friends can best of buddies.  It seems to make life a little simpler that way.  I know realize that friendship is really is a give and take.  That if I set an expectation on how I think a friendship should be, does not mean the other person has that same expectation.  I need to extend the grace I am expecting to receive.  I need to learn how to just listen and be there for them in that moment of time.  I am learning how to build up another person in a different way that I have in the past.  There are times all a person needs is someone to listen, and try not to fix things.  Not to say everything is going to be okay, and give advice I am not sure I should give.  I do know that it is my job to direct my friend who may be in need back to God.  He is the One who can make things right, or help them get through the tough times.  I just need to pray for them, or if they  let me join them in prayer.

     Now here comes the hardest part of the lesson I learned...Letting go! Realizing that a person did not want to be friends with me.  I have never gone through something like this before, and It was hard for me to wrap my thoughts/heart around this concept.  What helped me a little was realizing that I had let the person down, and I needed to ask God to help me...then move on.  I am not perfect and I had put an expectation on a friendship that should have not been put there.  I must admit I had my angry what the heck happened moments.  The why is all sudden there is no returning of my calls, ect.  The confusion of what went wrong????  When there was a response it was everything was fine, but yet it wasn't...The hurt behind all this is still a little tender and real, but God whisperd in my ear...forgive as I forgave.  You don't know the struggles the person is going through.  Don't judge, just sit back and wait.  The door may open to the friendship again, or it may not.  Just trust in Me and I will make all things right.

         Then I asked Him to send me a best friend who I could turn to, to trust and to love.  He replied, I sent you Ray.  Ray whom I am now married to me is the best gift God has given to me along with my children.  I never thought I would ever be worthy of such a gift, but knew the desires of my heart and provided me with such a gift.

       Then my response was, because sometimes I like to push the limits without thinking.  I said a girl best friend.  The amazing thing about this is that I already have one, her name is Jennifer.  Remember her?  She was the co-founder of this blog when it first started up.  Now, Jennifer and I make a point of communicating with each other.  We work very hard to keep this friendship going.  We have known each other for four years, and have gone through a lot.  I would not change a thing.

     Just remember to ask God to help you in all situations and He will.  To guide you in all your friendships and He will.  Ask Him to show what kind of friend you are called to be.  He knows what you need and what you don't need...just my2cents